The Hostel

We're okay.  Don't worry.

As you no doubt saw, Lyron's place was attacked by Greyskins.  From what I can understand, they're servants of the Choir, though I have no idea whether they willingly agree to do that or whether it infects them.  I hope it's the latter because I can't imagine anyone choosing to do what we saw.

Wayward has an account of this too, but basically, the Greyskins attacked in a horde.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but after seeing them, I actually don't think that proxies are too bad.  These things were like zombies.  They have this grey fungus that covers their bodies (hence, "Greyskins") that makes them look undead, and while I've heard that they're not all as deformed as the ones we ran into, they were grotesque.  Wayward mentioned that some had jaws that looked like they were attached by nothing but skin and fungus, but the ones that stuck out to me were the ones that didn't move quite right, like the bones in their arms and legs had been broken and turned into an extra joint.

We were prepared to go in case something like this happened, but I don't think we were prepared for this.  Maybe Wayward was, because I think she's dealt with Greyskins before, but I was completely lost.  They screamed at one point and when they screamed it was just...this terrible, awful noise, like nails on a chalkboard.  But as terrible as that sound is on its own, the worst part is that it feels like those nails on that chalkboard are insulting you.  Like they nails are writing out the vilest insults that exist and they're aimed directly at you and you can hear it.  Wayward lent me a pair of headphones and put on some white noise, which is what she does.  It helped some, but it wasn't quite enough because at one point it felt like I started crying and my vision blurred but it was red and I was actually crying blood.

I really don't remember much of what happened.  The whole thing was a blur.  I've faced enemies several at a time before, but I've never faced this many at once, and never anything like these Greyskins.  All I know is that we couldn't get out and we were going to die and the only reason we're still alive is that Lyron saved us.  Despite how paranoid we were of her and how little we wanted to trust her, she still saved our lives.  She came out with a handgun and started shooting them and managed to clear enough of them out to help us get to her car.  And then we drove.  I don't know how far we drove.  I think I was passed out for most of it.

We're at a hostel now.  Lyron was the one who suggested it.  Between this and what she did with the Greyskins, we owe her our lives.  But now that I've had time to think about it some...it seems wrong.  From what I've gotten from my research and Lyron's notes, the Choir is sort of fungal in nature.  It grows and multiplies and instills itself in a host.  Between that and how much they reminded me of zombies, I'm fairly certain that these people weren't volunteers.  They were infected.  I don't know whether the Choir destroyed who they once were or, even worse, just took control of their bodies.  The former means that they were people and Lyron gunned them down like animals.  While it's technically self-defense, I really don't like killing.  They didn't understand what they were doing.  Why did they have to die like that just because they didn't understand?

On the other hand, if the Choir just took control of their bodies, that means that they were conscious throughout all of that, unable to stop themselves from attacking us.  In which case, they were good people who were killed because our lives are "more important" than theirs.

I can't condemn Lyron.  Not really.  After all, it was us or them.  But I've seen too many people die.  I can't feel comfortable with that they did.  And it's not just her.  Wayward is something of an arsonist.  She uses aerosol flamethrowers and Molotov cocktails as weapons.  When I practice self-defense, the worst my attackers end up with is a nasty concussion.  Wayward's self-defense reduces attackers to ash.

I don't know what to think anymore.  I used to think that not killing anyone was the moral thing to do.  After all, they're still human, and who am I to choose who lives and who dies.  But could I kill if my life depended on it?  When it comes down to kill or be killed, would I deliver the final blow?  Survivor of the fittest?  Or would I put my morals over my life?  And even then, is that truly me trying to be a good person?  Or am I just trying to convince myself because I'm just a coward who couldn't take another life if he tried?

Anyway, I'd rather not try to think of the answers to that now.  We're at the hostel now.  We're safe again for a bit.  I shouldn't need to think about it right now.  We got here a couple nights ago.  It's strange, being around so many people again.  It's really not that many, but compared to just me, it's a crowd.  They've got a blog, apparently.  I've been trying to read through it in my spare time here so that I can figure out who all these people around me are.  I'll let you know if anything else happens.

We're going on the move.

Lyron's place is under attack.  Greyskins.  We have to get out of here.  No more time to explain right now.

Thanksgiving Dinner

Lyron prepared a Thanksgiving meal for us yesterday.

It was really nice to have a meal that size again.  Since I've been on my own, it's actually been years since I've eaten like that. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, a bit of ham, stuffing, cranberry sauce...the works for your typical Thanksgiving meal.  Before eating, we all went around the table stating what we were thankful for.  It wasn't hard to come up with something.  We're all just thankful that somehow, against all odds, we're still alive.

But it worries me.  Not the meal.  Not Lyron, since I'm pretty confident by this point that she really does care for us in her own way.  The thing that worries me are how good things are.

Wayward mentioned on her blog that things are, if you'll pardon the cliche, quiet.  Too quiet.  I agree.  Everything is too good.  It's like the calm before the storm.  You just can't have nice things when dealing with the Fears.

So Wayward and I have packed.  We're ready for when everything hits the fan and we have to take off running again.  We're going to enjoy these little luxuries for as long as we can, and I think Lyron would be offended if we bolted before we have to (and while I don't like trusting Lyron, I like offending her even less).  But we're ready to run the minute we need to.

Research

Wayward and I had a talk with Lyron a couple weeks ago.  She's working on a transcript for us, and I'll post that when she finishes it, but let's just say for now that we may have misjudged her some.  She may be a servant of multiple Fears, but I'm not sure how much choice she actually has in the matter.  I think I'd rather die than work for a Fear, but then again, I guess that's why I'm running.

I want to trust her.  I really do.  And it hurts not to.  It feels like I'm betraying her by not letting my guard down.  Like it's unfair to her.  And I can't tell.  Maybe it's the right thing to do, but maybe it's because it hits just a little close to home.

She's lost someone named Lily too.

It's just enough to make me think.  We've all lost people close to us.  Sometimes they end up dead, like my parents and Lily's entire family.  Sometimes we leave them behind, like all my friends back home.  I know that I never talk about them.  I can't.  What happens if I let something slip?  Then they're in as much trouble as Lily was and I still am.  More, since they're unprepared.

Anyway, the reason I've been so quiet is because I've been doing research.  Lyron gave us some documents that have a lot of notes on the Fears.  I've been comparing it to everything I've learned so far and it seems like while the information may not actually be false, it might be inaccurate due to inconsistencies.  I've seen the same thing with the Slender Man, so I wouldn't be too surprised.

I've also been in contact with Canis some more.  I've sent him some of the information, and in response, he's sent me some as well, which I've shared with Wayward.  I want to discuss things with her in more detail, but she's always so difficult to talk to--mostly because she doesn't like to listen.  It's really a shame that the Choir affects her so much, since she seems like she's really nice.  I wonder if she used to be talkative before all this happened to her.  I wonder what her life was life.  It's strange.  I've spent weeks with her, but I feel like I know Lyron, who's on the other side, better than I know Wayward.

Anyway, I've (potentially) learned a lot about Fears that I didn't know so much about before.  I'm really looking as much as I can into the Slender Man and Cold Boy specifically (since they're the ones that I've personally encountered), as well as the Choir, since I think that there might be a connection between the Choir and Not-Redlight, and also because I think it might help me understand Wayward a little better.  I'm not going to bother sharing, since I don't want to post information that I'm unsure of, but I might go into it more later on.

Another thing: after Canis mentioned that Raggedy "doesn't exist," I figured I'd ask him about Wayward and Lyron.  Wayward's blog doesn't exist for him, but Lyron's does.  He says that he can't find any sort of records of her, but he can read her blog and--while I don't want to jinx things by mentioning it--he's actually been able to visit where we are and identify the house where we're staying.  But when he looks into the house's background, he gets conflicting stories.  It's abandoned.  It was demolished.  It was never built.  While Lyron's not the owner of the house, the name she gave for the owner doesn't match any of the multiple names Canis managed to unearth for the current owner.  When he looks into the names he does find, they either do own the house, own different houses, have passed away, or never existed in the first place.  He's confused, but he doesn't think it's that abnormal for people affected by the Fears, and even has a few theories as to what might be happening.

So that's what's been happening.  Research, research, and more research.  I'll post again if anything interesting happens or if I find something particularly notable.

Lyron

Things seem almost too good to be true at the moment.  From my experience, when things seem too good to be true, they usually are.  So I'm on my guard at the moment.

Wayward and I are staying with Lyron.  It's not her house, but I haven't gotten much more information out of her apart from the fact that it belongs to some man she saved.  Apparently he was pretty rich, because it's a nice place.  There's a TV screen in pretty much every room, even the bathrooms.  And the beds are really, really nice, which would be wonderful if we were staying with someone who wasn't affiliated with the Fears in the way Lyron was.  As it is, Wayward and I have been sleeping in shifts.  Lyron looks like she was telling the truth when she said that we'd easily be able to overpower her, but she could always call in reinforcements.  And either way, it's not like you need to be a combat expert to slit someone's throat in their sleep.

That said, I feel bad mistrusting Lyron, since she's been so good to us.  Like I mentioned, she serves several different Fears, but apart from that, she seems like a really nice woman.  She's welcoming, accommodating, nice, and I guess she's pretty attractive as well.  Overall, she's a really easy woman to trust, which is exactly why I'm trying so hard not to trust her.  It's maybe not fair to her, but we can't take chances.

We met at a fairly large cafe.  Wayward and I had insisted on a public place in case anything went wrong.  Lyron happily agreed and then announced that she would take us shopping.  Her treat, she said.  She'd buy us food and any other supplies we'd need.  After all, apparently she's got access to funds from Australian banks because of the Fears.  I feel bad about spending her money, and guilty about using money that's associated with Fears, but on the other hand, it's using the Fears' own funds against them in a way, right?  That's nothing to feel guilty about.

So we've just sort of lived under the same roof for a few days.  I haven't felt comfortable opening up to Lyron yet, and Wayward doesn't much talk to anyone.  Tomorrow, though, I think that I'm going to try to get some information from Lyron.  I owe her an interview as well.  I'll let you all know how that goes.

Some more about Wayward

Traveling with Wayward is an interesting experience.  If nothing else, it's because we don't really talk much.  Apparently the Choir can twist people's words, and I don't like the idea of accidentally saying something terrible to her.  We talk some, but not much.  I smile at her some (since I'm pretty sure that she's not fond of physical contact and it'd be inappropriate anyway), but we're not about to start spilling our life stories.  She refuses to even give me her name, so I guess it's just Wayward.

I noticed there was something weird about the texture of her clothes, and it turns out that it's because they're flame-resistant.  Apparently the best way to deal with the Choir and its servants is with fire, so she's become...something of a firebug, I guess.  I guess I'm not entirely comfortable sitting next to her on the bus when I know her bag could explode at any time.  But hey, she's company, and company who I know won't kill me.

She's always wearing headphones, and she's apparently listening to just white noise because the Choir won't let her listen to music.  Something about it seemed a little familiar, so I asked her about Not-Redlight.  "It's possible it might be the Choir," she said.  "If he can stand the music, good for him."

Anyway, I guess it's okay to let you guys know where I am.  Lyron is currently on leave and staying in Ohio.  She's invited me to stay with her for a few days on the condition that she gets to interview me.  And she's...well, she's a proxy.  Or servant?  I'm not sure what the right term is, but she serves several different Fears.  I know, a really stupid move, willingly walking into what might be a trap.  That's why I'm so glad I have Wayward with me.  Lyron's claimed in e-mails that she's weak and I could easily take her (a fact that I'm well aware could be a flat-out lie), but even if I can't, Wayward has plenty of fiery weapons with her that could provide some great backup.

Like I said, a stupid move, but I think it's worth the risk.

Well, wish us luck.

Wayward

I'm amazed at how small the world is sometimes.

After Not-Redlight attacked me, it became clear that the Ten Masks can find me fairly easily.  Speed has become more important than laying low, and while I'm hesitant about my potential safe house, I'm willing to risk it.  To get there faster, I decided to take a bus.

It shouldn't surprise you to learn that pretty much everything I have is crammed into my pack.  I literally can't live without it.  Well, I was at the station, getting ready to purchase my ticket, when a guy swiped it.  I don't get why he went after me.  The pack was right beside me, meaning that I'd notice right away if it were taken, and I'm not the sort of person who looks like he has a lot of valuable possessions.  So why me?  Almost every single person in the bus stop would have been a better person to rob.

I grabbed Lily and chased after him as he ran out the building.  Even with the pack weighing him down, he was fast.  He couldn't outdistance me or shake me off, but I couldn't catch him.  I tried to get a good look at his face, but I mostly just saw his back: dark brown hair tied into a ponytail and a long, deep brown trenchcoat.  I burned those memories into my mind because they were all I had to identify him.

After a wild goose chase around town for about ten minutes, he must have given up on losing me and dropped the pack.  "Better not miss your bus!" he yelled, raising a hand and waving without looking back or breaking stride.  I wanted to go after him and bring him down, but he was right.  I had a bus to catch.

I was winded, and between that and not knowing the town too well, it took me a while to get back to the bus stop.  By the time I got there, the bus I had been planning on taking had already taken off.  I got a ticket for a different bus and waited.

A bus came by shortly after than and unloaded, and there was something...familiar about one of passengers.  Not in what she looked like, but in how she acted.  She kept throwing paranoid glances everywhere and looked extremely tired.  And she seemed to be traveling very light.  On a whim, I decided to try to talk to her.

She was a bit shorter than me, and looked a bit older too, with dark brown hair and eyes, dressed in thick-looking clothes.  I walked up to her and tried to speak, only to be met with an instant reply of "Leave me alone!"

I paused, trying to figure out whether or not to drop it or press further.  "Are you running from something?" I asked.

She pulled a pair of earphones away.  "What?"

"I said, 'Are you running from something?'"

Relief crossed her face, but she still looked at me suspiciously.  Her eyes fixed on my staff.  "Are you...are you The Wanderer?"  She smiled a bit at my stunned expression and said "I'm The Wayward Son."

A confused "...Son?" was all I managed as the gears started turning in my head.  I had stumbled across her blog recently, and knew that she had burned her house down and began running from the Choir, but I had no idea that Wayward was a girl.

"It's a reference to the song," she said sheepishly.  We stood there awkwardly for a little bit, neither really knowing how to react.

"Um...I know how hard it is to be on the run like this," I finally said.  "If you need somewhere to go, I have a place you can stay.  I mean, I don't, but I have somewhere to go and I know my host would welcome you too."

So that's how I ended up in a west-bound bus with Wayward.  Like I said, it's really a small world sometimes.