Back on my Feet

It’s been a week since they’ve died.  I’ve mourned enough.  I need to get moving now.

Canis has sort of…nursed me back to health, we could say.  Emotional health.  I’m grateful for that, but at the same time I want to get away as quickly as possible.  It seems like he’s a friend, but I’m not sure I trust him.  I know he’s reading this.  I just hope he understands what I mean.  But I don’t feel like I can fully trust him, and the last time I hung around someone I wasn’t sure I could fully trust…well, it’s too recent a memory to want to revisit.  That, and I think I’d like some space to be alone.  To think.

I spent a lot of the week trying to read up.  I have to say, I’m surprised at how many of us there are now.  Back when I first started blogging, there weren’t many of us online.  No one was there for me.  And now, I’m seeing more and more new faces springing up.  People running from the Slender Man.  People fighting him.  People who refuse to give up, roll over, and die.  And it’s not a good thing that there are so many of us.  But it’s good that we have each other.

So I’ve been reading up and trying to reach out.  As much as it might hurt in the end, I refuse to cut myself off from people, because to be perfectly honest—I’m weak.  I can’t do this on my own.  Finding the strength to go on living is really, really hard.  I need support from someone if I’m going to make it through all this.  But I don’t imagine I’m the only person who feels this way.  I don’t want to see any of you die.  I know I can’t do much, but I will do anything within my power to see you live and to give you some measure of comfort.  If you ever want to talk about anything at all, send me an e-mail.  wanderingfromdeath@gmail.com.  Pretty easy to remember.  I would love to talk to you.

I’ve been doing nothing, and it’s been getting me nowhere but deeper and deeper into depression.  But now?  Maybe now I can find the strength to climb out of it.  To try to actually do something with what little life I have left.