Sorry for the radio silence everyone.
I'm still staying with Raggedyman for the moment. If you haven't already seen, let me explain what I've been up to. Raggedy's convinced that I need to learn how to fight, and he's been training me. A lot of this stuff is pretty important I guess. Stuff like pushups and situps and daily runs. I've spent a lot of time walking but I'm not really in running shape.
He's also trying to get me to learn some self-defense and basic fighting techniques, though. That's something I'm not as enthusiastic about. We sort of had a bit of an argument during one of the training sessions the other day. He hit me harder than I had expected and then told me I was weak and I ended up losing my temper and attacking him. I don't know, I guess I just really got frustrated over the whole thing. I'm not a fighter. I never have been. I've just never needed to be, and I'm not really comfortable with violence. I'm not entirely a pacifist but Lily was. She was convinced that almost anything that could lead to violent conflict could be talked through. I guess her thoughts have rubbed off on me some. Even if I don't feel the same way, I'm still not comfortable with violence.
I talked to Raggedy about that and after some convincing he agreed to back off of that training some. We shook hands and made up after that. It's not like either of us can afford to hold a grudge. Neither of us have many friends left in the world.
The training is part of the reason I've been so quiet. The other is that I'm doing a lot of learning. I missed a lot of things when I first stopped reading the blogs, and some recent events when my internet card died. There's Dimensional Bleeding, the Path of Black Leaves, a lot of proxies to watch out for, and quite possibly the biggest of all, the Fears. Apparently there are more things like the Slender Man, and until recently, I knew absolutely nothing about them. I have a lot of research to do. Raggedy's helping out with that some, too.
Most importantly, while I'm catching up on the past I need to know about the present. Specifically who all is still around. Anyone who's still running, anyone who's not a proxy, anyone who might be an ally of some sort...if you're out there, let me know.
"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
ReplyDeleteSorry, that was my first thought. You can take girl out of her obsessions...
Anyway, to answer your last paragraph, I am a proxy (by the loosest definition might I add) but it's not my job to hunt anyone down. I'm more of a Medic.
I wouldn't say I'm an ally, but I am - at the end of the day - someone who understands what many people go through, especially runners seeing as I was one of them.
I'll mention you to Naomi, she's fixing on becoming a hobo - I mean setting out on her own - in a bit.
-x- Tori
Rurouni, kid.
ReplyDeleteI hate to break it to you....and I mean no offense, but-- if you plan to survive very long in this world, you're going to have to abandon pacifism. If you're being chased by proxies, they're not going to sit there and go "oh, gee, he doesn't want to hurt us. Let's just let him run." No, even the most human of them will put a dagger in your back if they get the opening.
Now...I'm going to stop myself, before I go off on a tirade of sorts at you-- I really don't want to do that. No, I'm just going to wish you well and hope you get it together sometime soon.
I'm here. I doubt you'd get along well with me being polar opposites on the violence front and all but I'm here. And they're right. A total pacifist isn't going to last long. Some Things and their servants *can not* be talked down and you may not always be able to run. With some however it is possible to end situations *non-lethally* with pepper spray or tazers. Others not so much. You should see my blog for information about the various things out there that want to kill you. I don't have an article about everything yet (some I lack sufficient information on because they're rare or recent) but I've got tips on IDing and if necessary *fighting*.
ReplyDeleteMy Camper article may be out of date though. Fuckers keep evolving.
Hey, kid. Nice to read about you. I've heard a lot about running, even tried it myself for a while, but I grew tired of it.
ReplyDeleteAll these people, telling you that eventually you have to abandon your pacifism? They are right. But they are also wrong.
You're going to hurt people. They will be bad people, killers and criminals, but when you hurt them, you will still feel bad. That's good. That means you are still human.
Hold onto your pacifism for as long as you can. Hold onto your morals and rules for as long as you can. Because that's what you can control, that's what you need.
And then, when you are ready, just let them all go.
Even a pacifist can fight to stand up for what they believe in. Sometimes that just means finding different ways to fight.
ReplyDeleteCould we have all runners thinking like this guy? It'd be nice to not go through a day's load of paperwork and find several reports saying "[Proxy] has had all his bones broken by [Runner's] kung fu grip. [Ridiculous amount of money] needed for medical expenses."
ReplyDeleteJust... run away when you see us coming for you or something. A lot less pain in the end for everyone involved.
That was precisely my fiance's opinion on the matter. "Just....turn and run, I'll shoot ya in the back of the head and it'll be easier."
DeleteThe thing about Kenny here is that he seems to show some concern for staying alive, which in the state he is-- a'int gonna go well for him.
Well Geez, am I late to the party?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I guess I'll join in on this ethics discussion (thought I left this behind when I stopped the online classes and such. Ah well...)
I think that pacifism is a very admirable trait in someone. I know it's one that I'll never have, I was basically born and raised a fighter and I can't change that. (Not that I want to).
The fact of the matter is, though, that you can't just run forever. Unless if you can at least defend yourself, there's no good in running.
Injuring other people isn't fun (or at least it shouldn't be) and seeing as you still feel this way (and have a conscience) you probably agree with me. But, sometimes it's necessary. It boils down to you or them. Who do you value more? Would you really just stand down to a person who threatened you (and most likely people you care about?)
Think about that, and maybe learn some self defense. Staffs are great for that. You can keep whomever it is at more than arms length and you can even help protect others with it. I'm pretty sure that's why shepherds have staffs, to keep wolves and stuff away from their flock.
Maybe you should think about all of the outcomes, and not just what you've known all your life. Because once people step into this world, they become different. And maybe that's how we all survive.
~Naomi
The best I can see, your problem isn't that you don't want to fight. I'm sure you realize as well as anyone the importance of learning self-defense.
ReplyDeleteYour problem, Kenny, is that you lack the courage to fight. You lack the motivation. You're scared of violent confrontation.
You need to learn how to be strong and rise to the challenges. You need to find that spark to fight for what you believe in.
I believe you can do great things, Kenny. But to do that, you need to find the strength to fight when it's needed.
-Last